Did you make any New Year’s resolutions? Broken them yet? If so, I’m sure you’re not alone.
Most resolutions are practically set up to fail, because they’re not made in the spirit of self-love and acceptance. Instead, they come from the perspective that we are inherently bad and need to impose control on ourselves.
I’ll give up smoking; lose weight; stop spending so much money. These all focus on what’s wrong with us. We set up a conflict between the part of us that wants to take control and the part of us that wants to continue with the old behaviour. If you’re fighting with yourself, you’re always losing the battle.
Instead, try changing from the inside out. Think about your motivation. Why do you want to make changes? Specifically, what kind of person do you want to be? Healthier? Fitter? Wiser with money? Double-check to make sure this is the kind of person you would truly enjoy being.
Now make your resolution an affirmation of the new direction you’re taking: This year I’m going to really take care of my health. From now on I enjoy being sensible with money.
A new direction like this is not derailed by the first lapse, so it can last the whole year. Every time you say your resolution you reinforce thoughts of satisfaction about the new you, which are far more motivating than rules and regulations.
In other words you can be good – and happy.