In tough times, it’s easy to lose equilibrium. Overwhelming feelings can take our rational mind offline, while our fight-or-flight responses take over. These responses come in many forms, such as panic, which destabilises us; anger, which can have us lashing out at whoever is closest; hopelessness, which renders us inactive; or numbness, which has us closing our eyes to the situation.
A metaphor I find helpful is that of a boat in rough seas. Trying to control the waves is pointless; instead, you must look after the boat. This means taking care of your mental wellbeing – calming those panic responses, so that your rational mind can take charge again. This may involve taking a break, checking in with yourself, prayer, meditation, watching a comedy or walking in nature. Tending to your mental state is like bailing out excess water, plugging the leaks and making sure the boat is seaworthy.
The rational mind can then steer the boat, taking into account the size and direction of the waves. This means making a realistic plan to navigate the situation. The rational mind is like a wise captain, in charge of the boat whilst taking care of the crew.
Certainly, there are situations where we must let our instant responses take over – jumping out of the way of an oncoming vehicle, for instance. But most situations require a more considered approach. We make better decisions and more productive plans when we come from a grounded place, having first acknowledged and managed our panic responses.
Looking after the boat does not mean ignoring the waves, nor passively accepting a bad situation. In fact, we can address challenges more effectively when we’re not also dealing with inner turmoil. So care for yourself and steer wisely until the storm passes.
Stephanie Hills ©