Category: Inner Peace

  • Same behaviour, different meaning

    A client of mine came to realise that in his most difficult moments, he would start mindlessly watching K-pop videos on his phone, unable to concentrate on anything else. Once he was aware of it, the compulsion to watch videos became a clue, alerting him that he was avoiding something. He could then tune in […]

  • Love, Loyalty and Ethics

    ‘A true friend will help you hide a body,’ is an oft-repeated sentiment on social media. It’s meant as a joke, but it reinforces a misconception about what friendship and loyalty mean.  What can we do when someone we love – a family member, partner, or a close friend – expects us to back them […]

  • Strengthen Your Inner Witness

    Do you feel guilty going through customs, even when you have nothing to hide? Are you extremely nervous at job interviews, or meeting new people? Chances are you have a mean inner critic. An inner critic is an imaginary character who holds the worst possible opinions of you and tells you exactly what they think, […]

  • The Chicken or the Egg? The Person or Their Opinion?

    Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Of course, there’s no definite answer, and if there was, it would make little difference. Yet last year, an argument about this very question led to an Indonesian man killing his friend. News reports never mentioned which side he took, but consider this – did killing his […]

  • Is Anger Necessary for Change?

    Some people say we should strive never to be angry. Others say that anger is what drives us to make things better. Who is right? First, it helps to understand that anger involves both feelings and thoughts. The feeling alerts us that something is not going the way we think it should. A good question […]

  • Frozen Stress

    Recently I saw a talk by Thomas Hübl, a specialist in collective trauma. He asked an unusual question: How often do you think about your freezer? That section of your fridge can be forgotten about for weeks at a stretch, but all the time it’s working hard to keep your foods frozen. We don’t think […]

  • Tips to help with low mood

    Tips to help with low mood: Sometimes it’s hard to shake off a low mood. Things we normally enjoy seem suddenly boring or pointless and we find ourselves filling our time with distracting, yet unfulfilling activities. When we finally face the fact that we are not okay, our first response is often, “What’s wrong with […]

  • Keeping your head above water

    In tough times, it’s easy to lose equilibrium. Overwhelming feelings can take our rational mind offline, while our fight-or-flight responses take over. These responses come in many forms, such as panic, which destabilises us; anger, which can have us lashing out at whoever is closest; hopelessness, which renders us inactive; or numbness, which has us […]

  • Comfort discourages heroism

    Heroes overcome obstacles. Whether it’s a passerby who risks danger to save others in a one-off incident, or a human rights campaigner working tirelessly over a lifetime, a hero doesn’t take the easy road. Most of us don’t aspire to be heroes; we leave that for exceptional human beings. We prefer to mind our own […]

  • Take a moment

    When something confronting or difficult happens, we might react with anger, upset, fear or despondency.  Our reactions can seem so automatic that we fail to recognise that moment – perhaps a split second – between what happened and our response. It’s during that moment that our response is determined. Living a more satisfying and self-determined […]