Category: Inner Peace

  • Don’t let your identity limit you

    People often use the word identity as if it’s who they are, but really it means how you identify yourself or what groups you identify with. It’s who you are, as seen from the outside. An identity is a social construct, like a character you play. Often, it’s empowering to embrace an identity – to […]

  • We Can’t Change Someone Else

    I was once asked to help a family who constantly bickered with each other. The two adults and three children sniped at one another from breakfast till bedtime and they were all sick of it. Each person said they just wanted to live in peace. The problem was that each one wanted the other four […]

  • Universal attitude

    “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe.” These words are from Albert Einstein, a man known for rational intelligence and scientific curiosity. Einstein studied the physical universe, which we tend to think of as neutral. We don’t often stop to wonder about its […]

  • Same behaviour, different meaning

    A client of mine came to realise that in his most difficult moments, he would start mindlessly watching K-pop videos on his phone, unable to concentrate on anything else. Once he was aware of it, the compulsion to watch videos became a clue, alerting him that he was avoiding something. He could then tune in […]

  • Love, Loyalty and Ethics

    ‘A true friend will help you hide a body,’ is an oft-repeated sentiment on social media. It’s meant as a joke, but it reinforces a misconception about what friendship and loyalty mean.  What can we do when someone we love – a family member, partner, or a close friend – expects us to back them […]

  • Strengthen Your Inner Witness

    Do you feel guilty going through customs, even when you have nothing to hide? Are you extremely nervous at job interviews, or meeting new people? Chances are you have a mean inner critic. An inner critic is an imaginary character who holds the worst possible opinions of you and tells you exactly what they think, […]

  • The Chicken or the Egg? The Person or Their Opinion?

    Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Of course, there’s no definite answer, and if there was, it would make little difference. Yet last year, an argument about this very question led to an Indonesian man killing his friend. News reports never mentioned which side he took, but consider this – did killing his […]

  • Is Anger Necessary for Change?

    Some people say we should strive never to be angry. Others say that anger is what drives us to make things better. Who is right? First, it helps to understand that anger involves both feelings and thoughts. The feeling alerts us that something is not going the way we think it should. A good question […]

  • Frozen Stress

    Recently I saw a talk by Thomas Hübl, a specialist in collective trauma. He asked an unusual question: How often do you think about your freezer? That section of your fridge can be forgotten about for weeks at a stretch, but all the time it’s working hard to keep your foods frozen. We don’t think […]

  • Tips to help with low mood

    Tips to help with low mood: Sometimes it’s hard to shake off a low mood. Things we normally enjoy seem suddenly boring or pointless and we find ourselves filling our time with distracting, yet unfulfilling activities. When we finally face the fact that we are not okay, our first response is often, “What’s wrong with […]