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Social media and wellbeing
This year the World Happiness Report focussed on social media. They found that when young people gave up social media for a month, their wellbeing improved. Deactivated users were happier, more satisfied with their lives, less anxious and less depressed. In short: giving up social media made them happier. It’s not that simple, though. When […]
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How can I be happy when the world is in flames?
Global instability reminds us that we are all connected. Devastating faraway events have local effects, such as rising prices. Naturally, we have feelings about it; perhaps anger or despair. Happiness seems inappropriate. It seems cruel to be happy when others are suffering, and naïve not to focus on our own impending losses. In our relatively […]
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“Charity begins at home.” What does it mean?
Originally, the word charity referred to a virtue: it meant a loving attitude towards others. More recently it refers to giving to those in need, and charities are organisations that facilitate such giving. Humans are wired to care most about those closest to them, and when times are tough, it can be tempting to draw […]
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Responding to being ‘put in your place’
Sometimes a person’s comment leaves you feeling uncomfortable, irritated or even angry. If their words sound neutral, it can be hard to explain why their comment was upsetting. Worse, if you react emotionally, you can come across as unreasonable or oversensitive. We tend to focus on the information contained in the words, but the more […]
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Strangely familiar?
Advertising companies have long profited from a simple, but powerful psychological fact: the more familiar we are with something, the safer it makes us feel. We might think we’re unaffected by repeated exposure to ads, but the reality is that when buying a product, we’re likely to reach for the one with the familiar logo, […]
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Don’t let your identity limit you
People often use the word identity as if it’s who they are, but really it means how you identify yourself or what groups you identify with. It’s who you are, as seen from the outside. An identity is a social construct, like a character you play. Often, it’s empowering to embrace an identity – to […]
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Relationships are key to happiness
The Harvard Adult Development Study began in 1938 and still runs to this day. It started by looking at the lifestyle, habits and health of 724 men, both working class and Harvard students, with the aim of following the subjects over a long period, to see what factors early in life might predict good health […]
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We Can’t Change Someone Else
I was once asked to help a family who constantly bickered with each other. The two adults and three children sniped at one another from breakfast till bedtime and they were all sick of it. Each person said they just wanted to live in peace. The problem was that each one wanted the other four […]
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Trust is earned, not owed
Banks warn us: don’t share your PINs or passwords. Don’t click on unknown links. Be wary of offers that sound too good to be true. It’s sensible to assume that strangers are not to be trusted until they prove otherwise. Yet when it comes to people close to us, we can be pressured to offer […]
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Love, Loyalty and Ethics
‘A true friend will help you hide a body,’ is an oft-repeated sentiment on social media. It’s meant as a joke, but it reinforces a misconception about what friendship and loyalty mean. What can we do when someone we love – a family member, partner, or a close friend – expects us to back them […]