A young sailor is sitting in a bar having a few drinks when looks over and sees a pirate. The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye. Unable to resist, the sailor goes over and asks, “How’d you end up with the peg-leg?”
“I was swept overboard in a fierce storm,” says the pirate, “and a bloody shark bit off me whole darn leg!”
“Holy cow!” says the sailor. “What about the hook? How’d you get that?”
“Me and me crew were boarding an enemy ship and a fierce sword battle broke out. One of them cut off me whole darn arm!”
“Incredible!” says the sailor. “And the eye patch. Tell me how you got that.”
“A bloody seagull dropping fell into me eye.”
“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” says the sailor, astonished.
The pirate looks embarrassed. “It was me first day with the hook.”