Pressimism: Gloomy outlook on life resulting from reading the news.
Percycution: Giving your child a name he will hate for the rest of his life.
Headshunted: A sideways promotion.
Sluggage: Bags that turn up two days after you do.
Gymnauseum: Forcing yourself to go to the gym when you really don’t want to.
Satire: Found a seat in a more elevated position.