A wise teacher of mine used to challenge her students with the question, “What if the opposite were true?” This is a great way to prompt lateral thinking. It can help us to spot where our supposedly logical conclusions might be based on rather tenuous assumptions and help us to understand how someone else might draw different conclusions.
The question is especially compelling if we apply it to our own habitual thinking. If we keep having the same problems and blaming ourselves, we might stop to think, “What if it’s not my fault? What if my feelings and actions are perfectly reasonable, given the situation?” This new way of thinking might give us confidence to take more effective action in future.
The converse is true as well. If we keep getting angry or disappointed by other people, we might ask, “What if it’s not their fault? What if I’m causing this somehow?” Again, this could be a life-changing switch of perspective, leading to more harmonious relationships.
The point is not to fault your current thinking, but to be open to other possibilities. While it’s tempting to want to be right, it’s wise to learn to sit comfortably with uncertainty, contradiction and paradox. To realise that two opposites can be true at once.
All our experiences happen at the interface of our inner and outer worlds; what happens to us and how we respond. Our responses go on to determine what happens next. To keep thinking the same thing means we’ll keep doing the same thing and getting the same result. Looking at things from multiple points of view is incredibly helpful, both for our peace of mind and for guiding our actions towards wise and beneficial solutions.
Stephanie Hills ©