Recently I saw a talk by Thomas Hübl, a specialist in collective trauma. He asked an unusual question: How often do you think about your freezer? That section of your fridge can be forgotten about for weeks at a stretch, but all the time it’s working hard to keep your foods frozen. We don’t think about it, but the electricity it uses costs us money every month.
In the same way, Hübl says, we pay ‘chi money’, or life force energy, to keep ourselves numb. When there are painful things we don’t want to think about, we use energy to keep that part of ourselves frozen and out of our awareness. We might do this in small ways, like keeping busy or turning to light entertainment to stop ourselves from feeling sad about a loss, or it might become a lifelong habit to avoid facing painful thoughts by persistently blocking them out. It works for a while, but the more we rely on this method for getting through life, the more of our life force it uses, leaving us with less zest for life.
If putting painful thoughts into your mental freezer is a lifelong habit, thawing out and feeling those feelings may be a scary prospect. It might feel safer to stay in busy mode and keep numb. If so, it can help to have a counsellor or mentor to support you through the process. Eventually, emptying the freezer means you have more energy available to enjoy the good things.
Regardless of whether your freezer is full or not, acknowledging and naming your difficult emotions at the end of each day can be an excellent practice. That way, you gain skills in managing your feelings and, as a bonus, avoid adding to your mental power bill.
Stephanie Hills ©