Category: Fulfilment

  • The Benefits of Not Complaining

    The average day provides a myriad of blessings to be grateful for, along with multiple niggles and challenges – all of which are opportunities to complain, if that is our focus. People who constantly complain are hard to be around and don’t attract warmth from others. The sad thing is that their focus on the […]

  • Being Happy With Who You Are

    In the book Presence, Otto Scharmer tells the story of coming home from school at age 16 to find his home in flames. His family had lived in that farmhouse for 200 years and all his belongings were inside, so as he stood there in shock, everything he identified with was going up in smoke. […]

  • Can you have too much happiness?

    George Bernard Shaw wrote: “a lifetime of happiness! No man could bear it: it would be hell on earth.” In contrast, the Dalai Lama said the purpose of life is to be happy. Who is right? I believe both are correct, but they are talking about different kinds of happiness. The simplest kind of happiness is […]

  • Workplace culture includes you!

    What makes the difference between a job you love and one you hate? Research has shown that while low salary and poor working conditions can lower your job satisfaction, the things that make you feel good about work are not the material things but the human factors. Recognition, responsibility and believing that you are doing […]

  • When the good go bad…

    How is it that so much harm is caused in the name of religion? How can people who do dreadful things look themselves in the mirror and think they are right? I believe it has something to do with language. Not just the way we use words to justify what we do, but the very […]

  • Fear of change creates a comfort trap

    Studies have shown that people who become paraplegics after an accident are only slightly less happy a year later than they were before the accident. By the same token, big lotto winners are back to their previous happiness level within a year. When something big happens, good or bad, people soon become accustomed to it. […]

  • Striving for perfection

    Humans strive for perfection in so many ways; we want the perfect house, body, partner. A mental picture of how something should or could be gives us something to work towards. Yet we all know that perfection is impossible. The word ‘perfect’ comes from Latin roots, meaning ‘completed’ or ‘finished’ (like the perfect tense). Perfection […]

  • Power and humility

    In our daily lives there are people who have a certain amount of power over us (our employer, landlady, teacher) and people over whom we hold positions of relative power (our children, employees, students). To maximise social happiness, power must be used wisely and with humility. I remember one work situation where my boss started […]

  • Whose story are you living out?

    As a narrative counsellor, I am very aware that we make sense of our experiences in terms of stories. A bad experience, such as giving a presentation that doesn’t go well, might be interpreted as a turning point in a story of failure – “That was the day my career fell to pieces” – or […]

  • Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

    We say that actions speak louder than words – and indeed they should. But in actual fact we have to be extremely vigilant in order to avoid simply accepting what we are told. Our human brains seem to be wired to process information quickly and efficiently by slotting it into pre-existing sets of beliefs. Something […]