Category: Fulfilment

  • Striving for perfection

    Humans strive for perfection in so many ways; we want the perfect house, body, partner. A mental picture of how something should or could be gives us something to work towards. Yet we all know that perfection is impossible. The word ‘perfect’ comes from Latin roots, meaning ‘completed’ or ‘finished’ (like the perfect tense). Perfection […]

  • Power and humility

    In our daily lives there are people who have a certain amount of power over us (our employer, landlady, teacher) and people over whom we hold positions of relative power (our children, employees, students). To maximise social happiness, power must be used wisely and with humility. I remember one work situation where my boss started […]

  • Whose story are you living out?

    As a narrative counsellor, I am very aware that we make sense of our experiences in terms of stories. A bad experience, such as giving a presentation that doesn’t go well, might be interpreted as a turning point in a story of failure – “That was the day my career fell to pieces” – or […]

  • Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

    We say that actions speak louder than words – and indeed they should. But in actual fact we have to be extremely vigilant in order to avoid simply accepting what we are told. Our human brains seem to be wired to process information quickly and efficiently by slotting it into pre-existing sets of beliefs. Something […]

  • Decisions, decisions!

    There are times in life when you know exactly where you are headed and what to put your energy into. And there are other times when there are so many decisions to be made that you don’t know which to make first, because each one could impact on another. This situation could be experienced as […]

  • Happiness = Openness + Boundaries

    Happiness, confidence and other good feelings are generally associated with openness. When we are happy, we are more sociable, more compassionate and more likely to help others. On the other hand, when we are angry or depressed we close off from other people and are less likely to notice or care about what’s going on […]

  • The difference between advice and counselling

    When you look for advice, you tend to choose someone you consider wiser than you, or someone who looks as though they’ve got their life together. This is because ultimately the only advice another person can give you is, “Be more like me! This is what I would do in your situation. You should do […]

  • Getting through the hard time

    That’s when I thought, “I’m so glad I’m in Africa!”

  • Getting through the hard times

    Can we be happy when bad things happen in our lives? Is it even appropriate? First of all, let’s define what we mean by ‘bad things’. Often, the things we get upset about are really only molehills that we make into mountains. Ask yourself: “In a years’ time, will this still matter?” If the answer […]

  • Gut Feelings and Intuition

    When making a decision, do you go with your gut? Many people confuse gut feelings with ‘intuition’, when in fact they’re two different things. Gut feelings come easily and naturally – they’re your body’s pre-programmed response to stimuli that you’ve encountered before. Candace Pert’s book ‘Molecules of Emotion’ explains how our body chemistry works to […]