People often use the word identity as if it’s who they are, but really it means how you identify yourself or what groups you identify with. It’s who you are, as seen from the outside.
An identity is a social construct, like a character you play. Often, it’s empowering to embrace an identity – to declare yourself a poet or a fighter. But an identity can also be a prison, especially if you didn’t choose it yourself, or if it’s negative: I’m a failure, stupid, worthless.
Whatever words follow “I am…” are extremely powerful. Whether they be adjectives that describe how you see yourself, affirmations that encourage you to grow towards your ideal, or nouns that suggest something permanent and unchanging about you, be sure to choose those words wisely, because they’re essentially a set of instructions you give to your subconscious.
Socrates’ famous advice, know thyself, didn’t refer to identity. To know thyself means to understand your deeper nature, to accept your imperfections, to know what circumstances can render you unreasonable at times, to clarify your values and to aim to live consciously. Knowing yourself from the inside like this means being honest with yourself, not fooled by your own excuses or half-truths.
Once you realise that how you identify yourself is a choice, you’re free to be flexible, to change direction as you wish. You’re more likely to treat other people kindly and with respect, because you’ll relate to the inner person, rather than to their status or role. You won’t be flattered if someone admires you for your identity, nor wounded if they hate you for it, and when you fall in love, it will be the inner person you fall for, not merely the character they’re currently playing.
Stephanie Hills ©