-
Irish diet
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. ‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day … And repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost […]
-
Beating the speed camera
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the […]
-
Novice chicken farmer
A new farmer goes into a farm supply store and orders two hundred chicks, explaining to the owner that he wants to start a poultry operation. Two weeks later, he returns to the store and buys another two hundred chicks. The owner is curious, but doesn’t say anything. The same thing happens when the farmer […]
-
Absent-mindedness twice over
A friend of mine, who wishes to remain nameless, popped into my workplace recently to look for something that might have been left there. The item was not to be found. As she was leaving, my friend realised that she was no longer wearing the sunglasses she had had on when she walked in. She […]
-
On a lighter note
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs. I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. Slept like a log last night…….. Woke up in the fireplace. I’ll tell […]
-
Gratitude for the Hard Times
We all know that it’s beneficial to be grateful for the good things in our lives, especially when we know that other people don’t have all the comforts or luxuries we have. But we can develop gratitude for the hard times too. This is easiest done in retrospect. Thinking back over the most tragic, difficult […]
-
The difference between advice and counselling
When you look for advice, you tend to choose someone you consider wiser than you, or someone who looks as though they’ve got their life together. This is because ultimately the only advice another person can give you is, “Be more like me! This is what I would do in your situation. You should do […]