Author: Stephanie Hills

  • Power and humility

    In our daily lives there are people who have a certain amount of power over us (our employer, landlady, teacher) and people over whom we hold positions of relative power (our children, employees, students). To maximise social happiness, power must be used wisely and with humility. I remember one work situation where my boss started […]

  • Whose story are you living out?

    As a narrative counsellor, I am very aware that we make sense of our experiences in terms of stories. A bad experience, such as giving a presentation that doesn’t go well, might be interpreted as a turning point in a story of failure – “That was the day my career fell to pieces” – or […]

  • A few jokes

    Paddy texts his wife. “Mary, I’m just having one more pint with the lads. If I’m not back in 20 minutes, read this message again.” * * * * * We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had […]

  • Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

    We say that actions speak louder than words – and indeed they should. But in actual fact we have to be extremely vigilant in order to avoid simply accepting what we are told. Our human brains seem to be wired to process information quickly and efficiently by slotting it into pre-existing sets of beliefs. Something […]

  • Another Finder’s Kindness Story

    This morning a work colleague came around searching for her phone. She wasn’t sure whether she had left it at work, or placed it on top of her car before she drove away. We looked everywhere and I phoned her number, but to no avail. A couple of hours later she texted me to say […]

  • Decisions, decisions!

    There are times in life when you know exactly where you are headed and what to put your energy into. And there are other times when there are so many decisions to be made that you don’t know which to make first, because each one could impact on another. This situation could be experienced as […]

  • Nelson Mandela, politics and spirituality

    Nelson Mandela is no longer with us. I find myself quite tearful, perhaps not from sadness, because he had made the most of his 95 years on this earth, but simply in recognition of the wonderful qualities he embodied. Nelson Mandela will always remain my hero, not because he was an extraordinary person, but because […]

  • What a shame!

    “I’m ashamed of the way we live,” a young wife said to her lazy husband who refused to find a job. “My father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I’m just so ashamed.” The husband rolled over on the couch. […]

  • A bad day?

    Today, after taking a client to a medical centre with a workmate, I came home and couldn’t find my bag. I searched all over the place, then from the work phone I called my colleague (who was on his way home) to see if he had seen it. He hadn’t. My keys and phone were […]

  • Immunising yourself against other people’s venom

    Feelings and attitudes are like germs – highly infectious. To promote our own happiness and that of the people around us, we need to protect ourselves from toxic attitudes and emotions that might come into our circle from time to time. But how do I stop myself getting angry when someone is angry with me, […]