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Frozen Stress
Recently I saw a talk by Thomas Hübl, a specialist in collective trauma. He asked an unusual question: How often do you think about your freezer? That section of your fridge can be forgotten about for weeks at a stretch, but all the time it’s working hard to keep your foods frozen. We don’t think […]
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Tips to help with low mood
Tips to help with low mood: Sometimes it’s hard to shake off a low mood. Things we normally enjoy seem suddenly boring or pointless and we find ourselves filling our time with distracting, yet unfulfilling activities. When we finally face the fact that we are not okay, our first response is often, “What’s wrong with […]
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Be the Change or Take Action
Paulo Coelho said, “The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” Not surprising, since most of our opinions relate to what other people should do – people who are largely unaffected by what we think. Also, we’re usually far more comfortable expressing our opinions to people who agree with us, or people […]
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Freedom and Rules
Years ago, I worked in the adoption service, where it was my job to interview couples who wanted to adopt. As the government agency for child protection, it was our duty to ensure the child’s safety and to approve all suitable applicants without prejudice. (Very few were turned down.) The criteria were different for the […]
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The gift of listening
Have you ever left a social gathering feeling drained? Chances are you didn’t get to express yourself authentically. Perhaps you felt you had to make small talk or pretend to be interested in topics that didn’t excite you. Have you ever come away from a meeting feeling frustrated and demoralised? I’ll bet you weren’t given […]
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Comfort discourages heroism
Heroes overcome obstacles. Whether it’s a passerby who risks danger to save others in a one-off incident, or a human rights campaigner working tirelessly over a lifetime, a hero doesn’t take the easy road. Most of us don’t aspire to be heroes; we leave that for exceptional human beings. We prefer to mind our own […]
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Take a moment
When something confronting or difficult happens, we might react with anger, upset, fear or despondency. Our reactions can seem so automatic that we fail to recognise that moment – perhaps a split second – between what happened and our response. It’s during that moment that our response is determined. Living a more satisfying and self-determined […]
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How can I be happy when things are so bad?
One reason we find it hard to be happy is that we persistently deny ourselves permission. Faulty reasoning makes us think that being happy would be somehow selfish and wrong. For example: If someone I love is suffering, to be cheerful would feel unkind. If I’m grieving for someone I love, it seems disloyal to […]
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Survival of the fittest, not the fastest
People say that our fight/flight responses evolved because our Stone Age ancestors had to be quick to escape from predators, like sabretooth tigers. We were kept safe from life-threatening dangers by this instant response, kicking in before there was time to think. Evolution ensured that those with the quickest responses were the ones who survived. […]
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It’s Random Acts of Kindness Day!
For some, kindness is a way of life; for others, it might come and go, depending on mood and circumstances. If someone we know and like is in need, we’re usually spurred to help them out, but with strangers we might be less inclined to notice and more hesitant to get involved. How does a […]