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Getting through the hard times
Can we be happy when bad things happen in our lives? Is it even appropriate? First of all, let’s define what we mean by ‘bad things’. Often, the things we get upset about are really only molehills that we make into mountains. Ask yourself: “In a years’ time, will this still matter?” If the answer […]
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Actual Texas laws
~ It’s illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. ~ A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. ~ The entire Encyclopaedia Britannica is banned in […]
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A list of useless products:
– Cream of Mushroom Slurpee – Mobius toilet paper – Seeing-eye giraffes – Birthday candle snuffers – Ankle watch – Silicone thigh implants – Garfield condolence cards – Scrabble – special dyslexics’ edition – Intermittent headlights – Kosher communion wafers – Nuclear hand grenades
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Irish divers
An American tourist asks an Irish fisherman: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats into the water?” To which the Irishman replies: “If dey fell forwards they’d still be in the fookin’ boat.”
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Lucky man
A man goes to the doctor, who checks him over and says, “I’m sorry, it’s bad news. You’ve got Yellow 24, a really nasty virus. It’s called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live. There’s no known cure. All you can do is go home […]
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Lonely frog meets his match
When a lonely frog consults a fortune-teller, he’s told not to worry. “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl,” she says, “and she will want to know everything about you.” “That’s great!” says the excited frog. “When will I meet her?” “Next semester,” says the psychic, “in biology class.”