Category: Jokes

  • Engineers 2: Accountants 0

    Three engineers and three accountants are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the accountants watch as the engineers buy only a single ticket between them. “How can 3 people travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant. “Just watch,” says an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their seats […]

  • A rare compliment

    John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say, ‘well done’?” “Oh, thank you, sir,” replied the waiter. “I hardly ever get a compliment.”

  • Micro-tunnelling

    A while back I was reading an engineering magazine which contained an advertisement for “microtunnelling”. I wondered what microtunnelling was until I realised it was a little bit boring.

  • Why did the chicken…?

    A chicken and a duck were standing on the side of the road. The chicken turned to the duck and said “Don’t! You’ll never hear the end of it.”

  • A confession to make

    Catholic guy goes into the confessional box. He notices on one side a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in. “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I […]

  • How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

    This is a question that’s been at the forefront of discussion amongst the most prestigious scholars and lawmakers of the world. Finally, after getting them all together – the question has been answered.

  • Ambitious Hillary

    One summer afternoon, Former President Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. After a long road trip, they stopped at a service station to fill up their car with gas. As it turns out, the owner of the gas station was Hillary’s old high school boyfriend. They exchanged […]

  • Odd job blonde

    An ambitious young blonde woman, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type. She began, door to door, canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood for work. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint […]

  • Play your age

    A woman is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, “What horrible luck! What in the world should I do now?” A gentleman next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, “I don’t know… Why don’t you play your […]

  • Route 22

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there […]