Category: Jokes

A man calls his doctor’s surgery for an appointment.Receptionist: “I’m sorry, but we’re very busy. You’ll have to wait at least two weeks.”Man: “But I could be dead by then!”Receptionist: “No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment.”

Two labourers were working for the city. One would dig a hole; dig, dig, dig. The other would come behind him and fill the hole; fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously. One digging a hole, the other filling it up again. A man watching was impressed at how hard these men were working, […]

A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float?” The father thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.” The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back […]

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’ The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows […]

When I was young we walked six miles to school every day, sometimes trudging in thick snow with schoolbags full of heavy books. Boy, did we feel silly when we found out there was a bus!

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

A doctor and a lawyer are talking at a party. Their conversation is constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asks the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out […]

Lem: ”I got fired from my job as a bank guard.” Clem: ”That’s awful. What happened?” Lem: ”Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, I’d let him have it.” Clem: ”What did thief do then?” Lem: ”He took one […]

A local Greenpeace office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful businessman. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you […]

“I’ve really had it with my dog,” said the first guy to his neighbor. “He’ll chase anyone on a bicycle” “Hmmm, that is a problem,” said the neighbor. “What are you thinking of doing about it?” “Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!”